Love (Musings 1)

Shipwrecked,
We floated along,
In a boat,
Karma leaking out
Through a hole in the bottom.

The sea of life was calm,
And the salt
Had a funny effect
On your otherwise perfect hair.

No 'love you's were whispered,
No rings exchanged,
You needed me, maybe
To steer the boat,
For you feared the water.

The lighthouse
Cast an eerie glow,
The darkness lit up
By your memories of him,
The liquor kept you half asleep,
And the sirens' songs
(Too subtle for your ears perhaps?)
Kept me company.

No food we had
And the one or two sloppy kisses
You threw my way,
Made me greedy,
(Memories of the shore methinks!)

We reached the island
Called Family,
Man, woman, child
(And all the circus besides!)
The fanfare and cacophony,
And a cheer
That almost deafened me!
So quietly, I left you,
Stole away in my boat,
(Karma by now
Emptied out almost)
And proceeded towards
Eternity.

"Canoe in the Rapids" - Winslow Homer

Tagore I

Why mist clouds my heart-sky

Prevents me seeing you,

This attachment-mist Blinds me,

Prevents me seeing you;

Why must I see you only occasionally
And not forever?

In a split-light, in an eyelid-flutter
I perceive you;
An enduring fear- your Being lost,
For I lose you in a moment’s surprise,
My desire unfulfilled- I lose you
In the flutter of an eye- I lose you
My heart unsatiated- I lose you.

What must I do to obtain you
And keep you stored in vision?
O Eternal, wherefrom will I get such love
To store you in my heart?
Am I capable?
Who is, without your empathy?
Unless you yourself arrive?

I won’t look at any other self
Thus I pledge my life.
If thus be your words-
At this moment will I
Surrender my craving for the tangible
At your feet;
Surrender will I, un-fatigued.
Surrender will I, within your Being.

(translation of মাঝে মাঝে তব দেখা পাই, চীরদিন কেন পাই না...)

Musings I

With each passing season

I shed my skin,

I wear no masks

Yet, as time passes

The skin tires of change
Shrinks, sinks in.

My relationship
With my skin
Is like, well…
Relationships in general
Utilitarian—
I wear it
It wears me.

Someday, I will change this skin.

On a night such as this...

On a night such as this...

I found myself

Unable to write
As the ghosts beneath my pillow
Made too much noise.

I fed one with memory snacks,
The other I cajoled
With stories of the cruelty of men;
A third, precocious one
Told me—
I needed to change my pen,
As my writing tilted right
A sure sign of pessimism!

Initially exasperated
I soon found myself
Loving their company;
They were dead after all!
And less fearful than men
With their spears and spiked boots.

Dawn broke—
And I was able to resume writing.
I began with a couplet—
'Truth is Ugly
And Beauty is a Lie!'

Turning Asexual

A known stare

A husky voice
Doesn't turn on,
Any more than the murmur
Of clouds
On a post shower sky.
And tea tastes
Better than kisses.

Yesterdays seem light
Even when laden
With memory weights;
The present bears
The certainty
Of the dancing earth.
And futures smile
With the cold comfort
Of the morning snow.

Song of the Banshee

As the moon rose within her womb

She covered her face

And wept—

Tears that could give birth

To babies with ten heads—

A dream

Clutched in each paw.

A wail arose from her self

A song—

A lullaby that had once put

Nightmares to sleep.

Years ago,

Many would join, 

They would sing and rejoice—

A chorus of sirens,

Each with an unborn baby.

Now,

The babies have grown up—

Men with innocent stubbles 

And daylong lusts.

So now,

They have fallen silent—

Afraid of the melody,

Teeming with the coldness of memory

And the warmth of abandon.

You suffocate me, yet

In strange ways you liberate;

Inwards I walk, yet

I see the shadows of my thoughts

Reflected

Upon your bridges, columns and arches—

More than two centuries old

Their cold largess

Inspires ideology,

And drives me mad

With lust for revolution.

You bred me in your body, yet

Ravenous, I feed

Upon your dying flesh,

Just as you devour my life-force

To sustain your hunger;

Your poets, your songs, your insanity—

Are mine to hold,

Just as my loves and desires

Are yours to engulf.

Tomorrow,

An alien space may take hold,

And unwalked streets may seduce,

But you will cling

Through known voices and faces,

And, even as I lie dying

You will absorb my traces.