It’s a performance. And we perform— love, lust, hate— the repetitive, recurring cycle of it all. The first time one is never so conscious. Somehow things feel natural. And a part of the mind successfully manages to convince itself the ‘genuine’ness of the performance. Yes, maybe one does feel ‘genuine’. When one kisses for the first time, one does manage to think that somewhere ‘emotion’ was involved.
But things change— one learns, or rather, unlearns. And suddenly, one even knows. One has been performing all along. Denying it any longer is hypocrisy with the self. So, one accepts it and things fall into place once more. One can perform each emotion with ruthless precision— so precise that it threatens, only briefly, by seeming ‘almost’ real..... The ‘almost’ remains. Yes, one learns...
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6 comments:
when these things 'happen' and are over and done with, you go over them in your mind and somewhere convince yourself to see it all in a different light... and as days go by, quite like your 'almost'... only the 'different light' remains. everything else disappears.
whom do we fool? we do know exactly what is or was happening, but all that must dwell in shadows. otherwise people might deem you inhuman or cynical. taina? and of course, the game continues.
Yea, shadows are essential as temporary storehouses. One has to choose NOT to see things in a different light, atleast till the time necessary. And after all what else can one do? The game goes on. One must play at being human.
Parjanya your play with the words under the roof of Inertia is infact original and intelligent.
Emotion at all time makes one feel that the output is going to be genuine but nay...you always need to come out of it before you render it as complete... It should have that comical criticism to distinguish or rathere to contrast the reality versus unreal, pure versus palpy sentimental.
Marx called Religion the opium of the masses and likewise emotion too much like opium drugs person to performance with which later the individual forcibly but yes has to comply, has to recognise a trance an experience...
nice ...this essay works knowledge.
learning is a pastime really youknow, because we learn all through our lives and well, then we die... so, what do we apply the learning at, eventually? why learn at all, why think, why come to conclusions (which will only be revised/unlearnt sometime in the future)? because we have nothing better to do with our (life)time, no?
it's hard to be a "thinking animal". sometimes i wish i was a giraffe, zebra, leopard or such. at least you have a decidedly pretty hide =D
@Lotus...
hmmm....interesting point, though I wasn't necessarily trying to objectivize emotions. Assuming a critical distance is one thing and consciousness of the performance is another. What does one do when one knows one is performing and yet at the same time wants to perform?
@monidipa...
Well 'coming to a conclusion' is inevitable... either one chooses to see or one doesn't....I for one am glad to be a 'thinking animal' :) Atleast it gives me the insight necessary for discourse, though how much of it I 'apply' is eventually a matter of choice.....
Reminds me of a quote by Dostoevsky in The Idiot :
"Nor is there any embarrassment in the fact that we're ridiculous, isn't it true? For it's actually so, we are ridiculous, light-minded, with bad habits, we're bored, we don't know how to look, how to understand, we're all like that, all, you, and I, and they! Now, you're not offended when I tell you to your face that you're ridiculous? And if so, aren't you material? You know, in my opinion it's sometimes even good to be ridiculous, if not better: we can the sooner forgive each other, the sooner humble ourselves; we can't understand everything at once, we cant start right out with perfection! To achieve perfection, one must first begin by not understanding many things! And if we understand too quickly, we may not understand well. This I tell you, you, who have already been able to understand. .. and not understand ... so much. I'm not afraid for you now."
This excerpt/quote is something which I can use as a follow-up (it's comforting - though sometimes) after realizing stuff similar to what u've written in Inertia. Dunno how much sense it can make to you - I've extrapolated the thing in my own direction...
- Closed Eyes (orkut)
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